What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
