508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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