Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
