ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
