My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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