Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize