Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
