matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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