Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
