Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
