I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
time to smoke my breakfast
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
