Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We talked him into tasing himself.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
