At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
