my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
