I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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