Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize