Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
