i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
