when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
