I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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