I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
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I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize