Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
