Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
