She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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