and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
