at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
