his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
