Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
