FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
