thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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