I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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