Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
