I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
