I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
