I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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