Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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