fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
