5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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