If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
