8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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