Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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