It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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