maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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