friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
