And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
