Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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