We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
