then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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