ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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