i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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