i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
