The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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