He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
