Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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