ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
