Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
