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i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
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i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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