So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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