New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
