I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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