he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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