I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
only if we run a train.
done.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
